Help for Family and Friends

Need support right now? Call or text 1-800-GAMBLER. The helpline supports family members and friends too, not only people who gamble.

When someone you care about has a gambling problem, it affects you too. You may be dealing with money worries, broken promises, secrecy, or a sense that you no longer recognize the person you love. You may also feel unsure whether you’re overreacting, or what you can actually do.

This page explains how to recognize the signs, how to talk to someone about their gambling, how to protect yourself, and where to find support for both of you.

Signs Someone May Have a Gambling Problem

• Unexplained money problems, missing money or unpaid bills
• Borrowing money, or asking for loans with vague explanations
• Secrecy about phone use, accounts or finances
• Mood swings linked to sports results or time spent online
• Constantly checking scores, odds or betting apps
• Withdrawing from family, friends or activities they used to enjoy
• Talking about gambling as a way to make money or solve problems
• Defensiveness or anger when gambling is mentioned

For more detail, see our guide to the early warning signs of gambling addiction.

How to Talk to Someone About Their Gambling

Choose the Right Moment

Pick a calm, private time when neither of you is stressed, rushed or angry, and not straight after a big loss.

Focus on Behavior, Not Labels

Instead of saying “You’re an addict,” describe what you’ve noticed and how it affects you. For example: “I’ve noticed money has been tight, and I’m worried about the bets you’ve been placing.”

Listen Without Judgment

Let them talk. People with gambling problems often feel deep shame, and criticism can make them more defensive and more secretive.

Expect Denial

It’s common for someone to deny or play down the problem at first. That doesn’t mean the conversation failed. It may take several conversations before they’re ready to accept help.

Offer Support, Not Solutions

Let them know help is available, such as 1-800-GAMBLER, counseling and support groups, and that you’ll support them in getting it.

What Not to Do

• Don’t pay off their gambling debts. It can remove the consequences that motivate change.
• Don’t lend money, even for things that seem unrelated to gambling.
• Don’t cover for them with other family members, employers or creditors.
• Don’t try to control their gambling yourself, for example by monitoring their accounts in secret.
• Don’t blame yourself. You didn’t cause their gambling problem, and you can’t fix it alone.

How to Protect Yourself and Your Finances

Separate Your Money

Open accounts in your own name, and consider removing joint access to savings or credit if gambling is putting them at risk.

Protect Important Documents

Keep cards, checkbooks, PINs and financial documents secure.

Check Your Credit

Review your credit reports to make sure no accounts have been opened in your name. In the US, you can get free credit reports from the three main credit bureaus.

Get Financial Advice

A nonprofit credit counselor, such as those found through the National Foundation for Credit Counseling (nfcc.org), can help you understand your options if gambling has caused debt.

Look After Yourself

Living with someone’s gambling problem can be exhausting and isolating. Your wellbeing matters too. Talk to people you trust, keep up activities that help you, and consider support for yourself, whether or not the person gambling is ready to get help.

Gam-Anon (gam-anon.org) runs support groups specifically for family members and friends of people with gambling problems. Many state problem gambling programs also offer free counseling for loved ones.

If You’re Worried About Safety

If you’re concerned about your safety, or someone’s gambling is linked to threats, violence or thoughts of suicide, get help immediately. Call 911 in an emergency, or call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

Where to Get Help

• National Problem Gambling Helpline: call or text 1-800-GAMBLER, for gamblers and loved ones
• Gam-Anon: gam-anon.org
• National Council on Problem Gambling: ncpgambling.org
• Gamblers Anonymous: gamblersanonymous.org
• National Foundation for Credit Counseling: nfcc.org
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I make someone stop gambling?

No. You can’t force someone to stop, but you can support them, set boundaries, and encourage them to get help.

Should I pay off their gambling debts?

Generally, no. Paying debts can remove the consequences that motivate change. Speak to a financial counselor about protecting yourself instead.

Is there support for family members?

Yes. Gam-Anon, 1-800-GAMBLER and many state programs offer free support specifically for family and friends.

What if they deny they have a problem?

Denial is common. Stay calm, keep the door open, protect yourself, and seek support for yourself in the meantime.